Last year, if I looked at myself now...
I'd be astonished.
I think I'd see how much I've changed.
I was one of those normal girls, potentially.
I didn't own any music that wasn't on the radio, and certainly never listened to anything harder than Alex Clare.
Then I met up with Panic! At the Disco's music early in the year. Ballad of Mona Lisa quickly climbed my charts and left me wanting more...
I was visiting my dad around this time last year and was on the computer, YouTube, and searching Panic songs when I saw a link for a band called My Chemical Romance. The song was Teenagers ~ that's what got me. I was pretty much entranced by the gas masks and harsher language, and by the man doing vocals.
One significant that I had was,"That guy is kinda hot..." And then he switched hands on the microphone and his wedding ring came into view.
Once I came home, I searched My Chemical Romance up and listened to more of their songs.
Now, the past two years before my MCR revelations had been the years that I had realized exactly how out of place I was...
Essentially, I realized that my appearance was wierd, I was loud, I was obnoxious, I had wierd interests...
That's how I saw myself.
So, I stopped eating for the most part, tried out a new kind of wardrobe, and tried to dim down my personality when I was around certain people.
I acted like I was proud of my odd ways, which I was, but I still felt like I had to punish myself for me abnormality.
Soon, I began cutting.
First my wrists, until they were noticed, then my legs and stomach...
Summer led to more depression because I lost most connection to the friends I had. I was left to the abuse of my family with hardly any outside support as well.
The summer I met My Chemical Romance saved me.
It didn't happen immediately, but as soon as I started to really listen to the music, I began to understand.
My Chemical Romance wasn't just some punk band that played for kicks. They meant what they wrote.
They were all misfits in a sea of uncool, but they were proud to be that way and rose out of any threats that were chucked at their heads with media and other onlookers.
They were the kids in the bag of the room with the black hoodies that didn't dare reach out to the other kids because they knew they'd be rejected, and then grew out of that stage, reaching out to everybody and gaining the acceptance that their perfection deserved.
Through My Chemical Romance I've met so many beautiful people and I've discovered what I want from my own life.
From the support I've gotten from the MCRmy {and a couple friends that found out about it}, I haven't cut for over a month now, and before that it was only iff and on.
Without My Chemical Romance, I know that I would have committed suicide by now.
My Chemical Romance and the MCRmy saved my life.
I am a Killjoy forever more and I believe that the Black Parade can never die.
Grab your masks and red eyeliner, kids,
Because you've found the best source of Revenge.
My Chemical Romance: 2001 - 2013 and infinity.
Your soldiers have not yet resigned.
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