Okay, now here's what's up.

I haven't been able to post because I have been drowning.

I have been sinking deeper and deeper into a dark oblivion of absolute shit terror.

Pressure from people and study had scared me so bad that I felt like I couldn't simply vent to people that don't even bother to vent back on here.

The tougher classes are over and I'm in a different living situation now, so I should be able to post more often.

Now, the real topic for this post though is about something that's been happening for a while.

So, apparently, when people get to know me, they see me as brave, strong, and all that other bullshit, and finally I think I'm coming to the light and agreeing with them. And that's a huge step for me.

This is what my boyfriend said to me today:

"I like how you just look things in the face and take them on. Even without makeup. You're amazing strength and resolve to get through things... You are really smart and strong; I like that most about you."

This blog makes a lot of stuff better. Just saying.

“My life was awful. When I was a kid, I was fat, pretty ugly and had awful hair. I used to get teased every flipping day. Slammed up against lockers, punched in the face - you name it. Hell, I had to go to prom with one of my female friends because I couldn't even get a proper date. I cant even look back at those photos because I look so bad.

I transferred schools, but the teasing just got worse. After a, lets say, “incident” I had with the school play, the bullying just got worse. But I made it through high school, only to find out that real life was pretty much the same. I just stayed in my dark room all day. I didn't talk to anyone, I didn't go outside. I just stayed inside and drew. I’d draw vampires, mummies, heroes, villains Anything to help me escape all the bad in the world.

I went to art school and didn't really belong. All I could draw was comic book characters. I tried to put my only good talent to use, by drawing a cartoon and pitching it - only to have it turned down. Life to me was just pointless. I started drinking, doing drugs and just generally wasting my life drawing.

Then one day, I saw bodies falling from the sky. I witnessed people dying. And that’s when I decided to turn my life around. I called up anyone I knew who had an instrument and we formed a band. Being on tour for the first few years was bad. All we’d do is get drunk and do drugs, but I loved it. Because I was doing something I loved with people I loved.

And a few years ago I met the most perfect woman ever. It’s like we share a wave link or something. She just knows me, without even knowing me if you understand. And now, 2011. I have a beautiful baby girl, a caring wife and I get to perform for all my adoring fans every day.

I am living proof that no matter how bad life gets, it gets better. I am Gerard Way, and I survived.”

~Gerard Way



This has got to be one of the best quotes out there....


I have to say that I've been feeling a bit better lately.... I don't know if it is some random shift in the atmosphere, or if my so-called depression is going away... Every once in a while in the past week, I've felt like cutting, but it isn't as bad as it was before... So maybe it is getting better......?