I suppose I am supposed to say something about the six month anniversary of the break up.
So here it is:
It feels unreal. I feel like I'm totally losing my connection to the MCRmy, because everybody fights or are posers or decide to recede from us because they can't deal with it. The sixth month anniversary is absolute shit.
In reality, it shouldn't actually matter because, as Gerard said, this band ISN'T a band at all, it is an idea. It stands for unity of the outcasts, it stands for the rebellious side of all of us, it is the philosophy that we can embrace fear and use it to our advantage.
It is not over just because the guys decided to go separate ways.
As long as the Killjoys keep the faith, then there is nothing anybody can do to stop us.
But you guys are failing. You guys aren't showing the support the guys would expect from you.
Some of you are perfect, and I love you for being the supportive Killjoys I look for in the MCRmy.
But a lot of you need to get your grip and keep living. You need to help the soldiers that have fallen and give them back their mask and ray gun.
If you can't do that, then I don't understand why you don't just submit to the rest of society. Take your meds, conform to their rotten ideas, and stop singing it out for the rest of the MCRmy.
Just stop.
If you can't be the soldiers the rest of us need, then stop marching and go back to the conformists.
We don't need you.

That is my opinion of the sixth month anniversary. Take it or leave it.

Liking a guy that you told your friend to go for really sucks. Like seriously.

When the one thing that led you to almost happiness begins starting to make you feel miserable, what do you do? Coming up here and doing other work used to make me so happy, because I could escape for a while.... but now, with the things here taunting me and calling  me unsuccessful, what is there to do?


I'm lost.
I'm scared.
I don't know how to ask for help.
I'm butchered and abused and there's no way for me to stop it.

I have too much doubt in everything. I can't do anything right. I really don't want to care, but with some things I can't help it, and that just makes me feel miserable. I'm miserable. I miss certain people way too much than I should :/. I hardly ever talk to my best friend anymore.... I just plain suck. At life.

Fail! Fail! Fail!

Why is it that the universe seems to want to punish people? I feel like such a failure at the moment. I guess that is all I'll ever be.... A failure. FTW.